My Boyfriend And I Are Going To Have A Baby Soon, But He Keeps On Wanting To Buy Things For His Family?
My boyfriend’s niece just came from Mexico this week, and is visiting her family. My boyfriend keeps on talking about buying his niece an ipod. My boyfriend and I are having a baby together (i’m 5 months pregnant), and we still have a lot of things to pay for. We still have to buy all of the furniture, diapers, clothes, etc, plus we have to save up for the baby’s baptism. My mom is being nice enough to pay for half of the baptism, and my boyfriend still has to save for the other half. My boyfriend also has a little bit of bills to pay, and owes money to an electronics store for buying previous ipods for his sister and me for Christmas; and now he randomly wants to spend another $300 on another ipod which is not only random, but completely stupid. He always gives away his money to his family and I feel like he’s taking money away from his child. He doesn’t realize that his poor financial decisions are not only going to effect him but his family also. I cannot confront him about it though, because then he will get upset. At the same time though, I feel like I don’t have a right to complain because I am not working, but I am going to school; and my boyfriend told me that if we have this baby I will not have to get a job, he will be able to take care of everything. Also, he’s going to be staying with me at my parent’s house rent free. I haven’t told him that I don’t want him buying his niece an ipod because I don’t want to sound like a b*tch, but can I have some advice on what would be best for me to say or do?
I get what you are saying completely. I am a stay at home mom. When we first had our child and before we had our child I don’t think my husband got how expensive everything was going to be. He was still spending money like we had a lot to blow. If I was you since you don’t want to talk confront him about it, write him a letter. Tell him why you are concerned. Let him know you didn’t want to say anything because you didn’t want to make him upset, but you guys really need to save up. Let him know that you would love to give everyone Ipods, but right now you just can’t afford it. Maybe you could suggest instead of a regular Ipod he could get her an Ipod nano which is half the price, or a shuffle which is only $70. Since you guys are having a baby together, and are in a relationship finances should be an open topic, since it is something that will not just affect you and him but also your baby. If he thought you were spending too much money I am sure he would tell you about it. Just remember you have the right to bring this up with him, just go about it in a loving and concerned way, not in a mean way. I hope I could help you with your question.
You have to confront him, whether it makes him upset or not. For your child’s sake, confront him.
You should talk nicely to your BF and say we have financial problems. I cant afford to get an i pod
What the hell is he thinking?
i understand he loves his niece but he doesn’t have to ‘buy’ her. You know what you should suggest. Him taking her out for a great lunch, just her and himself. And then maybe the zoo or something, something simple that wont cost a fortune and will give him an opportunity to spend time with her.
You are going to have to talk to him about it. Go to him with a list of expenses for the baby. Go on line and right write down the cost for each thing the baby needs and present it to him. He is going to have to make sure these things are purchased. And if you can’t talk to him about this you are in big trouble for the future.
maybe suggest something else for her? like some lotion and clothes? Tell him how you feel—youre worried that the ipod is a big waste of money when your babys needs getting formula etc are much more important than if she gets an ipod or not.
I agree it’s kind of like putting his other family first—when you and the baby are his family now. he needs to worry about his son getting diapers and formula, not hsi niece having the latest gadgets. That’s like putting her before his own son when thats just his niece. I love my niece but I would never buy her something expensive if I cant get it for my owndaughter first. Thats what her parents are there for, not me.
Although he cares about his family, he needs to realize and plan for the future. You need to tell him, whether it upsets him or not. He needs to realize that the money spent on an i pod can pay for a car seat, stroller, and crib. Or just think of how many diapers that will cover?
Sometimes people do not like to hear the truth, but they still need to hear it.