What Circumstance Would Make A Judge Grant Full Custody Or Joint Custody Of A 3 Months Baby To An Ex Fiance?
Under what circumstance would a judge grant full custody or joint custody of a 3 months baby to an ex fiance?
He abandoned me while I was 3 months pregnant, resurfaced when I was 6 months and promised to be supportive , but was a fluke through out , in fact he left town two days to my delivery to go spend time with his mom,knowing very well I was close to my due date, so he missed the delivery .
he showed up late after the birth same day, in spite of the fact that I had a CS and had no family member close by he left me to care our son alone, only to show up every now and then to see baby, I let him spend time with him on Saturdays but that does not seem to be enough, he has boasted that he will file for custody (which he just did)because he wants more time with his son which is not true,he just does not want to pay child support and he has told me he will skip town if I make him.
I have applied for TRA and the process is almost complete,I wanted to get myself together and establish a routine for me and my son before I go to child support services to file,how ever now that he has filled for custody in the NJ family court, I plan to go file for child support first thing tomorrow morning
My question is, what are the things I need to do before the court hearing to ensure he absolutely does not share custody, nor get custody because I fear for the safety of my son(He suffers from clinical depression and gets off his medication without his Dr’s permission and when he does he tends to get manic, so I will absolutely not allow or want him being with my child alone nor share custody, supervised visitation rights is all I want him to get.
I need advice.
First, stop worrying. There is no way the judge is going to give joint or even full custody of a three month baby to a man who seldom spends time with her and is mentally unstable, and if you are breastfeeding, as you should be, he will be lucky to get more than a few hours at a time for visitation. And for now, until a court order is in place, stop letting your ex see your child. He could well take him and not return him, filing for sole custody himself. It is best to be well prepared anyway. Start by hiring a GOOD LAWYER and make sure that lawyer goes to court with you every single time you go in front of the judge. And make sure that you have documented all the times your ex had an opportunity to see your child but chose not to. Make sure your lawyer knows about your ex’s mental health.
Ask for full residential and legal custody, and ask for parenting classes and supervised visitation for your ex, MDSd on his mental illness and his willingness to go off his meds. As for your ex’s threat to leave town if you file for child support, he hopes that this threat will keep you from filing for what your son is entitled to so ignore him. Either he is stupid enough to believe that he can run from a child support order or he thinks you won’t go through with it if he threatens you. It doesn’t matter where he moves to, he can’t escape a court order to pay support!
Good luck and God bless!
If you can’t prove with documentation other than your testimony that he is potentially harmful to the child, he will get shared custody. With the child being as young as it is, odds are good that he can get 50/50 shared custody even if he doesn’t live too near you as there is no issue with the child going to school.
The best advice I can give you is to get a good attorney.
Under no circumstances would an ex fiance be given custody of a three month old baby short of the mother being a drug addicted pedophile on her way to prison as a serial killer. He will get visitation. You can ask – and you should ask – that he be given only supervised visitation until the child is older. This is a very young infant. The courts will respect that. You most definitely must file for child support immediately. You must file a response to his custody request, but get an attorney. You will need some help in presenting your case. Your case will be based on your sole role in caring for and supporting your child, the vulnerable age of your infant, and the father’s history of irresponsibility re the child. The case should make the point that he is seeking a custodial role simply to avoid paying child support. His medical records can be entered into evidence, but you wisubpoena a lawyer to depose him and subpoena his medical records. Good luck.
You desperately need to contact an “Attorney”. If you don’t have the money, there are charitable organizations who will help to get you representation. Do not try to do this alone; you could loose custody if you look like you don’t have your life together & can’t support your child. Contact your local “legal aid” society & ask where to get help based on your income from there. They will help you to get to the right people; just don’t wait.